This morning was my great Aunt’s funeral and while I knew it wouldn’t be an easy day I never expected it to be as hard as it was.  I had a talk with myself earlier in the morning so that I would keep it together during the service.  Too bad I didn’t listen to myself.  My eyes started welling up as soon as the first couple notes of Amazing Grace came across the speakers. 

Even hours later I am still feeling guilty that while some of the tears and sadness I was feeling today was for my great aunt, the majority of the tears and sadness was for what inevitiably lays ahead in just a matter of weeks maybe even days for my granny’s situation.  My thoughts even took me back to almost 14 years ago when I lost my Grandpa Jack (who was the first close family member that I can remember dying).  When it was my turn to walk up to the casket to pay my final respects today and I felt my mom put her arm around my shoulder I just couldn’t hold things together anymore.  I made a beeline for the exit and went outside to regain my composure. 

The afternoon and evening was a much happier occasion which was very welcomed and enjoyed.  But as I  sit here reflecting on the events of the day I can’t help but feel the sadness slowly creeping it’s way back in.

My thoughts and prayers continue to go out to Ed, Carol, Jeff and the rest of their family.