I often get asked about my decision to become a Single Mom By Choice (SMBC) and it is something that I have been very open about since this beginning.  So what better way to document the journey than to blog about it.  This is going to be a long story so I will break it up into different posts. 

There wasn’t one single reason that led up to my decision to becoming a SMBC it was a whole host of reasons.  I’d had several go-no-where relationships, one brief engagement, and at the age of 32 I could hear the biological clock starting to tick a little.  I’ve never been the type of person to sit back and rely on someone else to help me get what I want out of life.  So in July 2005 I decided it was time to take the plunge and find out what I could about the process.

I first made an appointment with my ob/gyn at the time because I didn’t know where else to start.  At first I was expecting him to tell me I was crazy, I was too young to be worried about my biological clock, etc.  But he listened and gave me the name of a doctor/golf buddy of his that specializes in fertilty issues. 

In the meantime I went on the internet and started researching sperm banks and the associated costs with that side of the process.  I located a bank here locally and started browsing their donor list and picked about 10 donors that I liked based on their genetic traits.

I also took this time to bring my parents and brothers into the fold.  At first they were all a little skeptical, as they should have been, I mean this is a huge, life changing decision.  I remember my mom kept joking around and saying “Just remember, you can’t return a baby to the pound just because it pees on the floor”.  I remember some of the other discussions that I had with other family members and friends - just because a boyfriend/husband was in the picture doesn’t automatically mean that they would be the hands on type of father or that they would stick around for life.  A little pessimistic of me, not really, I’ve seen it happen to too many family membersand friends, things don’t work out between the 2 parents and the next thing you know, you only have your child every other weekend and have to split the holidays up every year.  Or worse yet the parent’s stay together but only for the child’s sake.  I would just rather know going in that I am soley responsible for everything and that way there would be no disappointments. 

I met with the specialist the following month and explained where I was coming from and he explained the process and the risks and so forth.  Because I hadn’t been off birth control pills for three cycles yet, the only thing we could do at this point in time was to draw some blood and find out a few things through lab work, like my blood type, if I was still immune to Rubella, HIV screening, etc.  How ironic, it turns out that the sperm bank I had research and decided to use is located right next door to the fertility clinic where I will be having the procedure done.  Talk about saving some money on shipping costs, they just walk the “goods” over the morning of the procedure.

To help pass the time during those 3 months, my mom & I narrowed my list of 10 possible donors down to 2 and I sent away for their extended medical histories. 

 Stayed tune for the next blog entry……Insem Day